What's wrong with this picture?

A place where I can bitch about life's daily hiccups and keep my sanity, without annoying everyone around me. Fair enough?

Location: The armpit of Canada, Canada

I'm a 31 year old woman who is fed up with the way things are progressing in the world. I have opinions on everything, and I'm not afraid to voice them. I'm old, I'm jaded, so sue me...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Mind your own fucking business!

What is it about people that feel they can pass judgement on you just because you're pregnant? I've about had it, and am going to start telling people that I'm just fat, because once they find out I'm knocked up, the sky's the limit.
Example One:
"Oh my God! You had a glass of champagne on your Anniversary? That's terrible! Your poor baby!" Yeah, never mind that I got the OK from my Doctor...nooo, the fucking so called "experts" are now condemning me for potentially exposing my child to FAS. Right. Never mind that the same people bitching at me were the ones that smoked throughout their entire pregnancy. Yeah, how was that birth weight for ya?

Example Two:
"You didn't eat sushi did you? You CAN'T eat that when you're pregnant!" Are you going to tell me that an entire NATION of Japanese ladies swore off one of the main staples of their diet for an entire nine months? If I don't get sick when I'm not pregnant, chances are pretty slim that I'm gonna get sick when I am. I've been eating the shit almost weekly for the past four years. You do the math Einstein.
The same goes for the bitch that came to my home as a guest (as a friend of a friend), and criticized me whilst I was pouring a friend a glass of red wine, and came up behind me and said "You're not going to drink that, are you?" It took every ounce of strength I had to not turn around and chug the entire glass infront of her. Lady, mind your own fucking business. Do you really think I would do something that would jeopardize the health of my unborn child? It's bad enough that I have to drive on Winnipeg streets, I'm not going to risk anything worse than that!

And don't even get me started on the whole name game...it's my kid, if I want to name it Umdigidadigidababa...I'm gonna. Go save the whales or something worthwhile, and leave me the hell alone...

Monday, June 26, 2006

Hitting the wall, big time.

So, for some weird reason, right around 11:00 to noon, or thereabouts, every day it seems, I run full tilt into this imaginary wall. It feels like someone has siphoned every last bit of energy out of my body. Kills me. Breathing becomes a major Olympic event, and forget about moving...not going to happen. I was at the mall the other day and actually had to sit down after getting off the escalator. THE ESCALATOR!!! Doesn't require ANY effort at all, does it? I'm sure the 100 year old man sitting next to me was secretly laughing...I just want to know what in God's name this child is doing inside me that causes me to become a complete bowl of jello. Running a marathon? Continuous somersaults? What?!?! I realize this probably coincides with his/her lunch time, but shouldn't breakfast be the biggest meal of the day? Why can't this happen at 8 am when I'm still asleep? That would work much better with my schedule.
How many months left?

Monday, May 29, 2006

Ahhh, some relief!

So, G-Man is gone for three months, but he managed to finish 95% of the renos before leaving, and I FINALLY have my house almost back to the way I like it. It took me two days to clean it, and I still have a ton of painting to do, but my bathroom has acheived spa-like status, and my kitchen and laundry room now have one, continuous, CLEAN floor! There are little things to do in the meantime, like finish baseboards, and touchups, and little patch jobs on the walls, but the main thing is that the house is CLEAN AGAIN!!!!! I am so happy...yeah, I know, I need therapy. Of course, the upstairs is still scary, and will be for a while, as G's cousin is going to be redoing the insulation up there, and then I can finally paint and get the baby's room done. There's still three months! to go, so I'm not too worried.
Just one thing to comment on though. What is it about men that they consider a job done once the walls are up and the stove is back in place? My Dad made the comment that so long as the drywall was up and the stove and fridge worked, he considered it done. Um, yeah, welcome to casa de drywall! Unreal. For me, it's not done until the walls are fully painted, and all trims, casings and other finishing touches are complete. It makes it easier in the long run to sell the house...
Anyway, as I know I've kept everyone absolutely spellbound with this little blurb, I'll end it here. Back to discussing other mundane things...

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I want my house back...but improved!

So, here we are, almost a month into the renos, and all I can say is, " I want my house and my life back!" Don't get me wrong, it's going to look great, but I'm about to have a nervous breakdown from not being able to clean anything properly! Fuck nesting, this is just me being me! The bathroom is going to look fabulous though, if that's any consolation at this point. Two more days and what's done is going to be done, because after that, there will be no man of the house, seeing as the G-Man leaves Friday for three months to go work up North, and I get to be pregnant all by myself for a while. I had this thought last night, and I'm not sure how big a deal it is, but now I won't have him here should I decide to do pre-natal classes...kinda sucks...that and having to get the baby's room ready all by my lonesome too.
Thank God I have some family members here to annoy me somewhat. I guess it's not all bad though. I get to go visit him a couple times, once being for our anniversary in July. Not quite what I had planned for the one year mark, but it will have to do, and besides, we'll have lots more of them to celebrate. That and with the cashola he'll be raking in, he can get me a nice gift to commemorate the event. haha.
Did I mention that I feel like poo today too? Having a mental meltdown when the toilet starts to leak and you think it's destroying the newly laid flooring is a good way to make oneself sick for a day or so. Combine that with having to go to work whilst the house is in a shambles, and it doesn't get much better than that! Thursday is only two days away...what a great time to not be able to drink! ;)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

It's OK to live like a refugee...

So long as it's not me doing it!
As some of you know, we are in the midst of our long awaited renovations. For those of you that have ever thought of doing something like this, take my advice. It would be better to just light a match, claim the insurance money and build a NEW FUCKING HOUSE!
Where do I start? How about last week, when my very capable ( and I mean this sincerely) husband started ripping out drywall and ceiling in our 1920's built home. You can just imagine the shit that came raining down. Every sort of woodchip imaginable, not to mention some 1933 magazines, and the best of all, a handbag that was doubling as insulation. What the fuck did people think back then? "Hey, I don't use this purse anymore, rather than throw it away, let's just stick it in a wall and see what happens..." I mean, did someone honestly think that a device commonly used to carry a wallet and lipstick would protect against the elements? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Next, once the house was covered in a layer of dust, I tried to make some headway and actually clean up a little, and was told not to bother. I should have listened, because with yesterday's rain, my house is now one big mud slick. Guys, would it be too much trouble to take off your shoes when you come in the house? It's never going to be the same. My carpets are total garbage fodder now, and the floors, don't even get me started. I'll be lucky if I can get the ground in mud off the laminate sometime this year.
The topper is the fact that we have been without power since yesterday morning, due to our needing to increase our Hydro service. If this wasn't bad enough, I get home to find out that the water heater has decided to take a crap and no longer works. It just gets better and better.
I guess the end result justifies the means, but God help me, if it doesn't, you'll find me at the store, buying matches...

Thursday, April 27, 2006

B-b-b-bad to the bone...

That's what I am. At least when it comes to correspondence of the written kind. Perhaps if blogs were compiled via the telephone, I might have a fighting chance. Oh well. The same goes for this chat board I frequent on less and less of a basis as of late. When I first joined, I was all over it, fat kid on a smartie style. Now, I usually just check out what's new, and try to keep up to date on the goings on, but have very little to contribute it seems. Maybe it's just a phase. That and being unemployed for the past three months gives one very little to talk about other than the color that I'm going to be painting the kitchen and the bathroom once the renos are done. Speaking of which, does anyone know of a good refugee camp where I can live for the next two or three weeks? I have a feeling that it will probably be like the Ritz-Carlton compared to my house. It's absolutely astounding how much dust can travel through plastic, even when said plastic is stapled to every inch of the doorway it's trying to shield. Bizarre... On a good note though, we have had the most perfect weather I've seen in this city in a long time. It's unusually warm for this time of year, and I've even got flowers in my garden, and they probably won't freeze. I will say that the great weather we 'usually' enjoy in this city almost makes up for the shitty driving habits of its citizens. I was hoping it was a phase, but no. The best part, is now I get to take my brand new truck into Autopac to have the bumper replaced, because some fuckwit doesn't know how to manoeuver in a parking lot without hitting things. $200.00....easy come, easy go. MasterCard is going to love me this month...

Friday, March 31, 2006

It's Alive!! Part Deux...

The baby that is!! This week has been really cool, as I can now feel the future soccer player moving around on a regular basis. It feels really weird, like non-stop butterflies. We're almost at the 4 month mark, and things are going really well. No more weight gain to speak of, so Hitler the doctor will be happy. I was told that seeing as I am 'a little big' (read: fat ass!) to begin with, I should lay off the twinkies and ho-hos. I guess she's hoping the kid will feed off the reserves? What does she think I am? A seal? Anyway, it hasn't been too hard, because between the nausea (which thankfully has all but stopped) and the five-alarm heartburn, I can't really eat that much anyway. Bland. Bland is good. So are Tums, and they have CALCIUM, something I am sorely lacking due to my aversion to milk. I could eat ice cream, but there we go again with the fat girl theme...there's no rest for the wicked, or the impregnated.
The more I think of it, I should change the title of this blog to "All Things Gastrointestinal", or "All My Body Parts Are Going To Shit". hahahahaha....oh well, five months to go.